December 18th marked my one year anniversary of this weight loss journey! I am looking at this in a positive, glass is half full lens instead of crying poor me. Let's see... this time last year I was 311 pounds and now I am 298! I am so glad (but cautiously aware) that I am out of the 300's. I hit 298 early this year but have struggled to get down. Now, if I was in a different state of mind I would have been sulking because I was down to 292 bringing my weight loss to 19 pounds, however that weigh in took place after my surgery and not having eaten for 3 days because of the surgery. I am proud of my self because this was the first time I was actually aware about what I put in my body, although it wasn't always the best foods I was aware of what I was doing and not just moving through the day.
Being aware of what was going in my body was not the only positive for me this year. I was able to exercise and run, not to mention I enjoyed it! I look forward to getting out there again and begin my training for my 1/2 marathon. I am going to train and get ready for the 2012 Disneyland 1/2 marathon. I didn't get to do the 2011 race because I had my Gall Bladder removed. I did however do the 5k along side my aunt and my mom. I didn't do the race for a set time because I was running/walking with a camera to capture my mom's first Disneyland 5k! I was glad I got to do the 5k even though I couldn't do the 1/2 marathon.
This year has also been a positive in the sense that I am dealing with my personal issues and letting myself FEEL! I am always the person that smiles, laughs, and says everything is great but I am a wreck inside. I have been reading recommended books and they are helping me deal with these feelings of hurt, pain, and grief. After my surgery I went into a semi depressive state longing for my sons and questioning their deaths. I found comfort in food, sweets, coffees, basically ANYTHING that tasted good and made me happy. I was aware of what I was doing but didn't care because questioning my self and my beliefs about what happened hurt. It was something that needed to be done. So that is how I went from 292 back to 298 and even though I went up I considered what I was doing, the fact that I was aware of what I was doing, and the fact that I wasn't back where I started one year ago which made me happy.
I am still on my journey and I have accepted that I am not going to lose all my weight in 6 months, 1 year, or even 18 months. I am a work in progress and I am taking it one day at a time, one step at a time. I am not going to take medications, magic pills, surgery, or any pay for weight loss program. I am going to continue working on myself, my happiness, my health, my athletic ability, and my mental health. It took me about 7 years to get this big so I am going to allow myself time to loss this weight. I have everything I need; a loving and supportive husband, my wonderful children, my supportive family and friends, this blog, and an open mind.
In closing I have lost 13 pounds in Year 1 of my Weight Loss Journey. I continue to gain straight mentally and physically and I look forward to Year 2 of this Mother of 6's Weight Loss Journey!
Merry Christmas to you and your family and may 2012 be an AMAZING year for you all!
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